The Breakdown Baby

[PATD_PWNs]

Author: Myself (Brianna)
Description: Brendon Urie ONE SHOT.
Notes: This is going to be extremely long. But read it anyway. *smiles*

THE ONE & ONLY CHAPTER

Inhale, exhale. There’s a pattern.

With every inhale two of my senses kick in. I can smell her cherry blossom body lotion. I can feel the tickle of her hair as it brushes against my cheek. Inhale, exhale. There’s always a pattern.

I’m barely awake but I’m barely sleeping.

The door slowly creaks open but I don’t turn to see.

“Bren.” I hear a hoarse whisper coming from the doorway. I turn my head slightly so I can see who it is at the corner of my eye. George Ryan Ross III. My best friend & roommate, also the lover of a Mr. Jonathon Walker, you might’ve heard of him. “Bren.” He whispers again, still trying to get my attention.

I’m still barely awake but I’m barely sleeping.

“Yeah?” I manage to whisper back, trying not to wake the sleeping girl in my arms. She moves around slightly at the sound of my voice but settles after a few moments of silence.

“We’re all going out to breakfast before we leave. You guys wanna come?” Ryan asks.

“Sure.” I reply, turning my head back to its place resting on the girl’s shoulder.

“Ok, we’re leaving in like a half hour.” He informs me. I’m waiting for him to leave, but the door never creaks back in place. Straining my eye, I see him still standing there at the doorway.

“Yeah, Ry?” I ask impatiently. I’m usually a morning person, you know, a bright little ball of sunshine. But today wasn’t a good day; it was already a known fact.

“Uh. Jon’s using my bathroom…” He shifts around on his feet like a five year old holding in his pee, which was basically what he was plus several years.

“Go for it.” I reply, lazily making a motion towards the bathroom door on the other side of the room. At that gesture, the boy dashed towards the door. Too bad, Mr. Ross is a bit clumsy. In the 2 feet it took him to get from one door to the other, he tripped over a misplaced shoe and knocked over the desk chair.

“Sorry.” He mumbles as he quickly closed the door.

Now I’m barely asleep. Period.

There was no point to the pattern now, I’m agitated and feel the need for a hot steaming cup of coffee. So as quietly & carefully as I can, I twist my body around and swing my feet over the side of the bed to stand up. But somewhere along the way, the sheets get tangled under me and as I go to stand, I lose my balance and go flying to the floor butt-first.

“OW!” I squeal, completely forgetting about my sleeping girlfriend about a foot away. As a reflex, my hand goes flying to my mouth to keep it from saying anything else. But god, that fall hurt.

“Good Morning.” The girl says as she sits on top of the white fluffy bed. “You have a nice fall?” She smiles down at me. How anyone can be that cheerful, besides me, when they first wake up. I don’t know.

I reach down under me and pull out a hair brush. “I think I just technically had gay s*x with your brush.” I make a face at her as I toss the brush across the room.

She just giggles at me and pulls her long hair into a ponytail. I attempt to get up but wince in pain and fall back down. I think I really did just have gay s*x with the hair brush.

“My ass really hurts.” I flinch as I succeed in the second attempt and take a spot next to her.

“Aw. Now you know how Ryan feels after Jon decides to give it to him rough.” She says with all seriousness on her face.

“HEY! I HEARD THAT!” Ryan calls from the bathroom.

The girl giggles again and leans her head on my shoulder. Like magic, the agitation & restlessness I was feeling moments ago disappears.

“I love you, Brendon.” She says looking up at me with those big brown doe eyes.

“Love you too, Jude.” I reply, bringing my lips down to a kiss.

Yeah, this day is going to be hell. But right now, in the moment, I’m with the girl I love. And right now, that’s all that matters.



Inhale, exhale. I’m now fully awake.

The five of us, MeJudeRyanJonSpencer, all sit around the table at our favorite little diner in town. Piles & piles of the best pancakes you can find in Nevada are set down in front of each of us as we grip hungrily at our forks and syrup bottles. As we sit in silence, except for the sound of slurps and chewing, I looked around the table.

I’m pretty good at reading people. After going to shows for the past two years, you develop an ability to tell the real fans apart from the ones there for the hype. I just happened to build on that ability so that I can read almost everyone.

Note to yourself: Never lie to Brendon Urie.

Anywho, back to the looking.

Jon Walker is sitting right across from me. Around his mouth is shining with sticky syrup. Every once in a while he looks up at Ryan, who is seated to his left, with eyes filled with adoration.

Ryan sits there shoving forkful after forkful of buttery mess into his mouth. He stares down at his plate with his own form of adoration in his eyes. How that kid is not 300 pounds by now, I don’t know. After taking a sip of his orange juice he looks at Jon who is at the moment looking over him. Ryan takes a napkin and wipes the sticky mess form around his boyfriends mouth before planting a kiss on the newly mess free lips.

Those two are so unbelievably in love.

To my left is Spencer. He’s probably the most out of place person of the group. A fifth wheel, if you must. Poor kid picked a bad time to choose to be single. Spencer’s drenching his pancakes with strawberry syrup as his eyes dart from Jon to Ryan and then back to his food. Jon to Ryan to food. There's always a pattern

At this time, the waitress walks up to ask if everything is going well. Her name tag that reads ‘Alice’ is pinned sloppily to a somewhat wrinkled blouse that has a brown coffee stain on the hem. Her face is covered with oncoming wrinkles and the roots of her hair are turning grey. I’m pretty good at reading people. This lady just screams single mother, probably working two jobs. Husband left her for some little whore and now she’s left to pay the bills and tuition for her kid’s education on tips & minimum wage. Life isn’t too good for poor little Alice. She just screams welfare.

Like I said before, I’m good at reading people.

To my right is Jude. Her long dark hair hangs messily at her neck as she plays with her almost full plate of food in front of her. She glances over at me and half heartedly smiles. Jude’s eyes that are filled with growing pain are masked with fake happiness. But I can read anyone, I see the hurt. The day started out great, but as it progresses I know it‘s only going to get harder. We both knew it was coming, but didn’t know what was going to happen when it finally came. I smile back and look down at my food. I really wasn’t looking forward to having to say goodbye.



Inhale, exhale. I really wish I was still asleep.

The equipment is shipped, the bags are packed, the cars are loaded. The only thing that isn’t ready yet is me. In the physical sense I am. But I’m not even close on the whole emotional side. Go ahead, call me a pussy. I admit it, saying good bye to this girl is going to be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do. You try loving someone this much and having to give it all away for 3 long months on tour. And then come back to me and try to call me a pussy.

Go on, I dare you.

“Baby, come on! We’re going.” Jude calls me from the bottom of the steps. I throw my iPod into my carry on bad and grudgingly make my way downstairs. When I finally reach the bottom, I take my girlfriend by her hand and we both smile weakly at each other. Only about an hour until the moment of truth. The big adios, the good bye. The ‘see you later’. Only the whole later part really stands for 3 months.

Rain pitter patters on the wind shield as we drive down the nearly empty, gloomy grey highway with the rest of the guys following behind us. The radio is playing some new Paramore song as we turn off on our exit.

“Brenny?” Jude asks, turning down the radio.

A blast of thunder rumbles the air, so I can barely hear her.

“Brendon.” She says this time over the growing thunder.

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“What’s going to happen?” She asks, quieter then she usually is.

“Well, I don’t think they’d cancel the flight just because of a little storm.” I reply.

She doesn’t say anything back, and I know. That wasn’t what she was asking about. But I couldn’t bear to talk about it. I couldn’t answer her, not now. Maybe not at all. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen. Whether we talk about it or not. So why go through the pain of doing so?



Inhale, exhale. I barely feel alive. I'm barely dead.

Sitting in that terminal is the worst part yet. We sat next to each other, holding tight to each other’s hand. Praying that the next flight called wouldn’t be mine.

The guy sitting next to me, I can read him like a book. His neatly pressed suit and designer leather briefcase just scream over obsessive workaholic. He probably works long hours at the office every day, even on holidays. Then goes home and sits on his big over stuffed IKEA couch surrounded by his wonderful desks carved from red wood trees & tables from exotic wood in the rain forests & fur rugs from the endangered pandas in China & German made eco-friendly lamps that so make up for all the rest of the harm he is doing to the world. All of this was bought to fill the void in this guy’s life, to make him feel complete. ‘Hey, so what if my life revolves around the stock market. At least I have a sofa that costs more than my Dad’s house.’

What can I say? I can read people.

“Flight 172 to San Francisco, now boarding.” The terminal lady announces over the loud speaker.

That's us. Us minus Jude. Minus a huge chunk of my life. Minus my heart.

The guys stand up and each give Jude a huge hug and head over to the boarding line. I stand up and pull the strap to my carry on over my shoulder.

“This is it, I guess.” I say as I turn to Jude, who already has tears pooling in her eyes. “Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry.” I try to comfort her as I wrap my arms around her waist.

“Will you call me every night?” She cries into my shoulder. I pull her head back and place my forehead against hers, holding on to the back of her head.

“Of course.” I reply, trying to smile.

“Promise?” She whimpers. And suddenly a line from her favorite movie comes to mind.

“Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you. Tomorrow I’ll miss you. Remember I’ll always be true. And then while I’m away, I’ll write home ev’ry day. And I’ll send all my loving to you.” I sing to her. She starts to cry even more, but this time she’s smiling.

“BRENDON!” I hear Ryan whine from the line, I glance over and everyone is gone and only Ryan is left standing there, motioning for me to hurry up.

“I love you, Jude.” I say quickly, kissing her softly on the lips, before turning to go. She grabs my hand from behind and squeezes it.

“I love you too, Brendon Urie.” Jude says as she lets go. I walk away trying my hardest not to look back. Because I know, that if I do I might not make it on to that plane.

I walk down the small hallway leading to plane after giving the flight attendant my ticket, without looking back once. It isn’t until I’m at the end of the hallway that I look at the glass and see myself with stray tears making their way down my cheeks.

I’m pretty good at reading people. And this mess over here, the one’s reflection I’m staring at, he just screams a breakdown.
_________________

[greenr2r]

:O That's amazing!
_________________

She's the smoke
She's dancin' fancy pirouettes
Swan diving off of the deep end
Of my tragic cigarette
She's steam
Laughing on the windowpanes
The never-ending swaying haze
Oh, that ever smiling maze

[PATD_PWNs]

[: thank youu.
_________________

[stelaclaudi]

*is turned into melty mess of goo* that hit my heart in a weird way that made me melt into a melty mess of goo.

b**ch.









just kidding that really was entirely and completely wonderful, though. and it made me melt inside.
_________________
http://stelaclaudi.livejournal.com/
from day one i talked about getting out
but not forgetting about
how my worst fears are letting out
he said why put a new address
on the same old loneliness
when breathing just passes the time
until we all just get old and die
now talking's just a waste of breath
and living's just a waste of death
and why put a new address
on the same old loneliness
and this is you and me
and me and you
until we've got nothing left

[PATD_PWNs]

thankkkks, love.
( :
_________________

[xxiloveryanandbrendonxx]

Really good!

[musicmakesmeloco]

oh
my
god

i loved it so much
i was nearly in tears. i know, i'm a sucker
but i honestly loved it
you're such an amazing writer, it's brilliant.
_________________
Say my name, and his in the same breath, I
Dare you to say they taste the same,
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow in flames

Brace myself and let go,
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends, they don't love you
They just love the hotel suites, now

I don't care what you think
'Cuz as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness
In misery

Oh, take a chance, let your body get a tolerance,
I'm not a chance, but a heat wave in your pants
Pull a breath like another cigarette,
Pawn Shop, I'm trading up (trading up)

I'm the oracle in my chest,
Let the guitar scream like a fascist,
Sweat it out, shut your mouth,
Free love on the streets, but
In the alley and I ain't that cheap, now

[PATD_PWNs]

why thank you darling. [:
_________________

[bridge]

more!!! more!
_________________
there's a storm brewing...

[musicmakesmeloco]

it was a oneshot

L0Lz

[Dont.Kill.The.Random.Girl]

I really enjoyed that. It was really good=]

[musicmakesmeloco]

^ ^
hello
_________________
Say my name, and his in the same breath, I
Dare you to say they taste the same,
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow in flames

Brace myself and let go,
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends, they don't love you
They just love the hotel suites, now

I don't care what you think
'Cuz as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness
In misery

Oh, take a chance, let your body get a tolerance,
I'm not a chance, but a heat wave in your pants
Pull a breath like another cigarette,
Pawn Shop, I'm trading up (trading up)

I'm the oracle in my chest,
Let the guitar scream like a fascist,
Sweat it out, shut your mouth,
Free love on the streets, but
In the alley and I ain't that cheap, now