Stars in Your Eyes (GABILLIAM) epilogue is posted! !@#$

stelaclaudi · Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:08 pm Post subject:

*joins team anti-bryce and makes signs*
do i get to meet gabe now? *hope*

ily =]
_________________
http://stelaclaudi.livejournal.com/
from day one i talked about getting out
but not forgetting about
how my worst fears are letting out
he said why put a new address
on the same old loneliness
when breathing just passes the time
until we all just get old and die
now talking's just a waste of breath
and living's just a waste of death
and why put a new address
on the same old loneliness
and this is you and me
and me and you
until we've got nothing left

PATD_PWNs · Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:49 pm Post subject:

hehehe.

ummmmm. maybe?
<3ily2.
_________________

PATD_PWNs · Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 10:17 pm Post subject:

GABE'S POV

"I don't like him. Not one bit." We, all the Cobras excluding Suarez who was taking a nap, were sitting in our tour bus a few hours before a show one day. It was about a week into our time on the Sleeping with Giants tour and things have basically stayed the same between William and I. And Bryce. He was always included with our duo now. f**k it, we aren't a duo anymore. We're more like a...

"Love triangle! Drama, drama, drama!" Victoria said in a sing song voice before recieving a glare from yours truly.

"Dude, you only not like him because him and Willaim are so close." Nate pointed out.

"Have you seen them?! That's more then just close friends. More like groping each other." I replied back. Was everyone else blind to their insane to the point of rediculous closeness?

"Excuse me, but that's exactly how you and William were." Ryland said, turning away from his game of Halo.

"And now we're dating." I said blankly.

"Well uh..." He bit his lip, trying to think of something to say but just shook his head and returned to his game.

"Gabe, Will is like in love with you. Your over reacting. Embrace the friend." Victoria said, trying with a comforting smile. I wasn't buying that though.

"I just fucking hate him." I replied crossing my hands over my chest.

"Who do we hate?" William said, appearing a second later. That would've been the perfect time to talk to him about my feelings towards him and his new best friend. The perfect time to sort things out. But now that he was standing in front of me, all smiles & utter cuteness, I couldn't. I just had to let it go. Embrace the friend, I just kept telling myself.

"Suarez. We hate Alex Suarez." I smiled, holding up my arms for him to sit in. He returned the grin and sat comfortabley in my lap.

"Why do we hate him?" Will asked, snuggling closer to me. I saw Victoria mouthing 'I told you so' at me.

"He stopped taking showers. Smells like shit." I answered, surpressing a laugh.

"Ew. I should talk to him about that." Will replied. A moment later, Suarez appeared walking out of the bunk room and I almost burst out laughing when I heard Will sniff the air.

"Alex, you really do smell like shit. For the sake of me, my boyfriend, and everyone else on tour, take a fucking shower. Please." Will informed my fellow Cobra. Alex stood there like a deer in the headlights, not prepared for the sudden a attack on his hygiene. If you didn't catch on, Alex Suarez does take showers. Just saying.

"Ok?" Suarez shrugged, still looking stunned.

"See? All you had to do is ask." Will told me happily before kissing me on the cheek. This was bliss. The first time in ages that me & Will are alone. Well not alone, but close enough. No Bryce to interupt us from just being with each other.

Then I felt his pants vibrating. (In real life, this sentenced would often me followed but someone saying "PAUSE!" because WOW do we all hav the dirtiest minds. Just saying.) I should've knocked on wood. He pulled out his phone and the name Bryce flashed across the screen.

"HEY! Nothing. Uh, no. Yeah. Ok, sounds good. Bye, Brycey." And with that, my lovely boyfriend jumped off my lap. "Sorry, babe. Gotta go. I'll com watch you play tonight." William said as he hugged me goodbye and left me alone with my bandmates again. Nate just shrugged at me.

I couldn't help but think that maybe this 'Embrace the friend' shit wasn't going to work out very well.
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stelaclaudi · Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:12 pm Post subject:

D:

LMAO SUAREZ'S SHOWERING!
LMAO WILLIAMS VIBRATING PANTS!
GRR BRYCE.
_________________
http://stelaclaudi.livejournal.com/
from day one i talked about getting out
but not forgetting about
how my worst fears are letting out
he said why put a new address
on the same old loneliness
when breathing just passes the time
until we all just get old and die
now talking's just a waste of breath
and living's just a waste of death
and why put a new address
on the same old loneliness
and this is you and me
and me and you
until we've got nothing left

PATD_PWNs · Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:47 pm Post subject:

[: bahahha.
_________________

musicmakesmeloco · Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 1:45 am Post subject:

OMG williams vibrating pants!
lol!
_________________
Say my name, and his in the same breath, I
Dare you to say they taste the same,
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow in flames

Brace myself and let go,
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends, they don't love you
They just love the hotel suites, now

I don't care what you think
'Cuz as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness
In misery

Oh, take a chance, let your body get a tolerance,
I'm not a chance, but a heat wave in your pants
Pull a breath like another cigarette,
Pawn Shop, I'm trading up (trading up)

I'm the oracle in my chest,
Let the guitar scream like a fascist,
Sweat it out, shut your mouth,
Free love on the streets, but
In the alley and I ain't that cheap, now

PATD_PWNs · Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 10:53 am Post subject:

ASDF. SHIT.
i forgot to post the last three updates on here.
i shall post them now (:

CHAPTER 23

After a complete failure of a week, trying to 'embrace the friend', I decided that it was time to talk. I couldn't stand having the boy I was fastly falling for, hanging all over some other guy. Everyone keeps telling me,

"They're just close!"
"Your overreacting."
"Shut the f**k up."

But I just couldn't get it through my head. Something was up, and I needed to find out.

So one day after a show, I pulled William a side before Bryce could get his filthy palms on him. William, assuming it was time for a make out session, pushed my up against the wall and wraped around my neck. I gently pushed him away, though. Any other time Gabe Saporta was completey up for hooking up but right now. This was time to talk.

"What's the matter, baby?" Will asked as he pouted up at me.

"Can we talk about something?"

"Is Alex still not showering? Because I'll talk to him if you-"

"-No! That's not it. It's about uh...Bryce." I struggled to get that last part out. As much as I wanted to talk to him before, I was slowly regretting this. I was basically about to either accuse him of cheating on me or accuse his best friend of trying to get him to cheat on me.

"What about him?" Will asked. He looked a bit puzzled of what possibley could've happened with Bryce that would make me so nervous.

"Well, you guys are close. I barely see you anymore. Even when I do, it's always 'Bryce, Bryce, Bryce'. I want you tell me if there's something going on between you two because I really miss being with you." It all came out jumbled in one really quick breathe. I didn't know if he heard it all until I saw the hurt in his eyes.

"You-...you think I would cheat on you?" He looked devastated.

"I don't know. I just-" He put his hand over my mouth.

"I can't believe you don't trust me." Will turned and started to walk away, looking very upset.

"Wait! Will, sweetie." I grabbed his hand and made him turn back to me. "It isn't that I don't trust you. I want to so bad. But everytime you're off somewhere with him, everytime you leave me alone because he needs you, everytime you choose him over me, I can't help but-...I can't help but doubt that you still care about me." I started to sniff back tears by the end of it, hiccuping back the sobs that were building up in my throat.

He looked at me through sunken eyes. "I am so sorry. I'm sorry I've ever made you doubt how much I want to be with you. Bryce is just a friend, I hope you can trust me when I tell you that. Your the one I want to be with." Will hugged me tightly as both cried a little bit in each other's arms.

I pulled away to kiss him when his pants started vibrating. Again. ("Pause.") Will pulled out his phone and cringed. I already knew who it was. And I was expecting Will to make up some excuse on how Bryce really needed help with something. But instead he dropped his phone to the ground, mid-vibrate, and leaned in the kiss me.

He stroked the back of my neck as we had what felt like our second first kiss. It was so magical and passionate. I never felt more butterflies in my stomach. As we stood there, I could hear the phone vibrating on the tiled floor. I couldn't remember why I ever doubted in us.

CHAPTER 24

GABE'S POV

You would think things would be just peachy after this. You would think that, wouldn't you?

Well somehow it turned around and did basically the oppisite. Will got it in his head that I just didn't like him being alone with Bryce all the time. So hey, why not bring make the situation easier and still be with Bryce almost every second of the day but also always with me.

William Beckett is a dumbass.

"If I stand in the middle of the street will floor the bus right into me?" I said as I took a seat next to Victoria on the couch. Over dramatics was my thing.

"I swear to god. If this is about-"

"-Bryce won't go away." I interuppted her.

"I'm going to fucking kill you." Nate mumbled as he got up and left the bus.

"I thought you talked to Will about it." Victoria said as she flipped throuh the pages of some magazine.

"I did but now instead of him going off with Bryce by himself, I'm dragged along. I'm dying, Vic. Help me." I pouted at her.

"Will is obviously having trouble picking between you and his best friend. You need to show him how much you care for him." She sighed, putting her magazine down.

"And practically crying to him in a hallway wasn't enough?"

"What you need is to show him that your better then anything else. You need a grand romantic gesture."

-One Week Later-

We were going on stage in exactly 4 minutes and everything had to go as planned. Everyone involved was aware of what was happening and all I needed to do was confirm the final piece of the puzzle.

"Bryce! Hold up." I jogged over to the blonde when Will went off to the bathroom.

"Hey, Gabe. What's up?"

"Are we all good with the plan? All you have to do is get Will to the side of the stage by the Church of Hot Addiction." I had gone over the plan in my head about a thousand times.

"Yeah, ok. Good luck." He flashed me smile and walked away. I didn't like having to put all my trust into this kid but I had to. It was the only way.

"Gabe, we're going on!" I heard Ryland shout from down the hallway. And with butterflies pumping through my insides, I ran down the hall and walked on to the stage.

CHAPTER 25

GABE'S POV

The lights were blinding, that's one thing I'll never forget. Maybe it was because I was nervous. Maybe it was because my breathe was heavy, my palms were sweaty, and the mic in my hand wouldn't stop shaking (or is it the hand holding the mic that's doing the moving?).

Nerves can f**k you up. That's all I'm saying.

"Good evening Philadelphia." -pause for screams- "We are Cobra Starship and tonight we're going to fucking make you dance tonight." And with that, our somewhat short set began.

It was the usual songs. But it was more, so much more. The entire band was generating this energy, it was insane. They all knew how important it was that everything go according to plan and were giving it their all to make the show extra special. And hell, that made it even better.

But still. Those nerves. All through the Church of Hot Addiction, my eyes kept darting to the side of the stage. Is he there? When is Bryce getting him? Is that him? I can't tell. I think that's him. What the f**k happened to all those lights? Finally, I agreed to myself that the tall figure standing in the dark to the side of the stage was indeed Mr.Beckett so I turned my eyes forward and finished the song.

Game plan: eyes forward for the rest of the set. I refuse to let the nerves get the best of me.

Get ready. The spot light is on me. It's game time. All or nothing. The final showdown. Gabe vs. Bryce. It all comes down to this. This moment of-shut the f**k up and get on with it already. Alright, alright.

"Alright now kiddies. Tonight we're doing something extra special. I'm talking once in a tour sort of thing." -once again pause for some serious tweenie screams- "This next song we're going to play, it was written for someone when the two of us were both going through a hard time. Someone who as of this very moment I am madly, truly and deeply in love with. They haven't heard their song yet, I made sure of it. So tonight, this song goes out to you. And you sure as f**k know who you are. I love you, baby." I said it. -pause for some SERIOUSLY loud screaming before beginning the song-

The three words I have never told someone outside the family and meant it. This time I meant it. I'm sure you know that during that song, I sang like I never sang before. I couldn't stop smiling as I poured my heart. And the crowd was taking in every bit of it. Screaming and singing along like no other venue had done all tour. Perfection was what it was.

After that one, glorious song we played Guilty Pleasure and ended our set. I let the rest of the band off stage first so I wouldn't be blocking the way when I went over to William. The plan was for him to be so overjoyed and overwhelmingly happy over my grand gesture. That was the plan, what was supposed to happen. We all just assumed.

We shouldn't have.
_________________

PATD_PWNs · Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 10:02 pm Post subject:

GABE'S POV

Walking off stage, I felt a surge of excitement. Things finally going to start working out for Will & I. Never did it cross my mind that something could've went wrong, promises could've been broken. I had assumed everything was peachy and according to plan. That was probably why I was so shocked when they weren't.

"Who the f**k are you?!" I gasped when I walked off stage to realize that the person on the side of the stage, the assumed Beckett, was in fact not him.

"I'm Larry? I'm Armor for Sleep's guitar tech." He looked terribly confused. I didn't have time to explain my actions. I pushed passed him and prayed that Will had seen me and just left after the song.

Now was the time turn to God for support.

I rushed down the hall backstage and opened the door behind which I could here the familiar giggling of my boyfriend. Something tells me that this isn't right. That if he really saw the show, he would be in my arms right now. He isn't.

I quickly open the door and step in the small white room. And like a recurring nightmare, there's Bryce still sitting to close to him. Still closer to him then I've been all week. Still being hated by me.

"Hey, sweetie!" Will smiled at me from the worn down couch.

"Hi, so what did you think?" I tried. Drum roll please. The moment we've all been waiting for. His answer to this simple question could mean either complete relief or quite possibly the death of the little blonde haired demon.

"Of what?" Enigma coated his eyes.The latter seems to be the correct answer. But let's not be rash, shall we?

"Of the song. You were there, right?" The poor boy looked even more puzzled at what I was talking about then before.

"Song? No, sorry. I was with Bryce."He shrugged, nodding towards his friend as if I didn't know his name.

"OH! I'm so sorry. I must've forgot." Bryce tried to apologize. But anyone could see through that lie. At least I could. Yeah, maybe he simply could've forgotten as he said. But I wasn't taking it. He was trying to break me and Will up. I knew it. Everything made sense.

I just looked blankly at him, trying to take it all in without over reacting.

"What's this all about?" Will asked, looking from my blank stare turning glare to Bryce's fake apologetic look.

"You forgot? How could you possibly forget about it?" I growled lowly at him.

"I know. It just slipped my mind. I'm really sorry." He tried that whole 'sorry' shit again. Psh, liar. Fake. Destroyer of all things wonderful in the world.

"Slipped. Your. Mind?" At this point, my breathing was heavy and my fists were clenched tightly. I was seeing red, that's how angry I was.

"Gabe..." Will looked honestly afraid at what was happening. I rarely got mad like this, and he knew it.

And Bryce just nodded timidly at me, obviously getting the hint that I was not happy with him.

Why is it always the nodding that sets me off?

I launched at him. Pulling him to the ground, I punched. All the pain, suspicion, anger, and pure inhumanly rage that I have built up since the day I have met Bryce came pouring out at once. With every punch, something inside me felt a little bit better.

I completely forgot about my surroundings and the fact that Will was in the room. Or at least I did. Until I felt 2 sets of hands pull me away from the squirming body under me. I fought them back at first, not caring who they were. But then I happened to see Will. Still sitting on the couch, completely stunned and horribley upset at what had happened. He got up and helped Bryce off the ground, who groaned and was clutching his mouth where blood slowly flowed down.

I panted to catch my breathe and shook off the the two people holding me back, The Butcher and Mike Carden. I took one look at Will's helping Bryce and I walked out of the room.

5 minutes later, I was sitting in our dressing room by myself. It was sinking in that viciously attacking my boyfriend's best friend when my boyfriend didn't even know what the set me off in the first place,probably wasn't a good idea.

It took another 3 minutes to suffer the consequences.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Will screamed at me as he stomped into the room. I just sat there, arms folded and eyes to the ground. It would get better, I told myself. [/i]You're about to have the biggest fight yet. But don't worry. Your Gabe & William. Things will be fine.[/i]

"WELL?!" He screeched again. This time I flinched but continued to be silent.

"I just spent the last five minutes helping Bryce clean up the blood you made him bleed. How do you expect him to be able to perform like that?" He seethed at me.

"To be honest, I could care less." I quickly retorted back. Will rubbed his eyes in frustration and glared at me.

"Do you mind explaining your sudden hatred towards him?" His eyes demanded a response and I was happy to give it to him.

"SUDDEN?! I've disliked the kid since the first time I laid eyes on him and his grimy little hands always touching you." I spat out at Will who looked honestly taken back.

"I thought you were over this jealousy. I thought you were going to try." Will said blankly, staring with cold eyes.

"I did. But I can't just sit around and watch my boyfriend flirt with another guy!"

"BUT I WASN'T! You could see that if you got over your ridiculous trust issues." He said harshly at me.

"I wish you I could trust you, Will. I really do. But it seems that your having a hard time choosing between your boyfriend and your new little friend." I muttered angrily at him.

"If you can't trust me...I don't know Gabe...I cant-I can't do this." Will ran his long fingers through his hair.

"I agree. We should wait to talk about this until we've both calmed down." I agreed. Nothing was going to be solved if we were both so filled mad at each other. We need a calm conversation.

"No. You don't understand. I can't do this. Us. Our relationship cannot work if you can't trust me. At this point, I can't trust you..."

"But, Will. I...I love you."

"It's over." And with that dramatic ending, he walked out of the room and left me to myself. And in the silence I sat, I kept thinking how I could have possibly messed up this bad.
_________________

PATD_PWNs · Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 9:08 pm Post subject:

GABE'S POV

Let's skip a ahead shall we? Past my breakdown. Past going down on my knees and begging Will to give me another chance. Past being completely rejected. Past getting piss drunk by myself and then hitting on Ben from Armor for Sleep. Let's just try to forget about that and get on to the important things. Let's go to my hangover.

"Saporta. Up. Now." Victoria said as she swung back the curtain and let the way to bright light into my dark little haven.

"f**k!" I yelled quickly turning over to face the wall. Too quickly. I felt yesterday's dinner slowly making its way back up my throat. And on top of that, i had the worst headache in the history of hangover headaches. Every thought felt like a hemorrhage tearing apart my brain.

"Up! We're having a group meeting in the front lounge in 5 minutes." She said from behind me before I heard soft footsteps indicating her leaving me alone.

I slowly crawled out of my thick covers and comfy bed. After making a quick pit stop in the bathroom (this whole "standing up" thing did absolute hell on my nauseous stomach), I staggered into the insanely blinding front of the bus. I collapsed unto the hard sofa and Ryland handed me 2 Advil and a cup of water. My scratchy throat barely helped the small pills down but somehow I managed it. I grabbed my sunglasses and set them on my face to block out the bright, bright light. Once adjusted, I looked around the group wondering exactly what we were hear to chat about.

"To business." Alex said as he stuffed his mouth full of Fudge Sundae Pop tarts. The sight of that made me want to run back to the bathroom.

They all stared at me.

What did I do?

"Gabe, we heard what happen." Nate said as if he could read my mind.

"Yeah. What happened to this embrace the friend thing?" Victoria raised a crooked eyebrow at me.

"Well, embracing the friend would acquire the so called friend to not purposely try to f**k up my relationship with Will." I glared at them all. Like they understood the hell I've gone through. Please.

"First of all, you're completely delirious. Bryce was not trying to break you two up. Second of all, I think you did that perfectly fine by yourself." Ryland pointed out as he leaned against the door jam.

I tried very hard to make his head explode using my eyes.

"And on top of that, Ben won't even come near our bus anymore." Alex informed me. Ok, ok. I understand the wrong on my part with that one. But I was intoxicated and heartbroken. Cut me some slack.

"Ok, fine. I fucked up. I'm sorry. But what am I supposed to do now? Will won't even look at me and..." I let my sentence fall unfinished.

"There's nothing you can do, my brother." Nate shrugged, patting me on my back.

Knowing that me and Will as we were was no more and that there was not a thing I could do about that tiny fact, now that was incredibly hard to hear from one of my best friends. I heard it last night from William himself. I had convinced myslef that he was just angry and he would get over it, but now it just seemed too real. I couldn't bare it. I felt a hole being carved into my chest. It was suddenly hard to breathe and everything was spinning. I needed air. So reasonably, I sprung up and stumbled out the door. Much against my stomach's will.

I leaned about against the bus and took deep breathes of the icy air.

Inhale. Exhale. Enter coughing fit, my throat feeling like it was being ripped apart. I couldn't even breathe correctly. I was beginning to wonder if I could anything right.

I finally got my oxygen take in under control when I saw someone coming up to my right. Someone with shiny blonde hair.

"Hello, Gabriel." Bryce Avery cheered as he leaned casually next to me. The skin under is eye was dark blue bordering purple and the left side of his lip was a bit puffier then the other. All my doing. Last night, I might've been proud of this. Probably would've bowed to an invisible audience. But now it made me sick. This is what I did to ruin being with Will. I was no longer proud.

"What you could you possibly want?" I mumbled at him and rubbed my hands together for warmth. Did the air get icier when he came over?

"I heard about you and Will. I guess it's my fault, isn't it?"

"More of mine. I was just do caught up in thinking you were out to steal William from me. Completely ridiculous now that I think about it." I actually snorted in humorless laughter as I turned to apologize but something made me stop.

Bryce, the fucking twat, he shrugged as if he was saying 'Well, actually...'.

I stared at him, suddenly my breathing was getting heavier again.

"To me honest with you, Gabey-poo, that isn't exactly far off the target. I wasn't trying though. I didn't have to. All I had to do was be there and put up your protective boyfriend bullshit and wah lah! You pushed him away and right into my arms. You did a good job, my friend. A fine job." I was looking the devil himself in the eyes.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was he...-was he admitting to trying to steal the love of my life away from me? I was about to make my decision of either saying something or launching my self at him and adding a few broken bones to his injuries when I heard a voice. A voice that melted my insides but at the same time carved the hole in my chest a little deeper.

"Bryce? What are you doing h-" William Beckett said as he rounded the corner and came into view. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me standing not far from Bryce. He sort of glared and shoved his hands deeper in his pockets. "Funny. A little to late, though." My ex snarled at me.

"I was just telling him to back off." Bryce smirked at me, face out of view for Will to see, and walked to him. He pulled Will's jacket collar and lead him away from the bus.

I didn't have the strength inside me to say something as they walked away.

Bryce had admitted to everything that everyone was denying. I was right the entire time but no one believed me. Especially not after the night before. It was all to crap and I couldn't do anything about. I was completely helpless.

Bryce had won.
_________________

stelaclaudi

you made me cry... you broke up gabilliam... WAHHH Crying or Very sad

_________________
http://stelaclaudi.livejournal.com/
from day one i talked about getting out
but not forgetting about
how my worst fears are letting out
he said why put a new address
on the same old loneliness
when breathing just passes the time
until we all just get old and die
now talking's just a waste of breath
and living's just a waste of death
and why put a new address
on the same old loneliness
and this is you and me
and me and you
until we've got nothing left

musicmakesmeloco · Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 4:08 pm Post subject:

NOOOOOOOOOOO!
I'm crying Bri!!!
i'm crying!
this is what you do to me!
i hate bryce
if i was gabe
i seriously would have killed him
:'(
_________________
Say my name, and his in the same breath, I
Dare you to say they taste the same,
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow in flames

Brace myself and let go,
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends, they don't love you
They just love the hotel suites, now

I don't care what you think
'Cuz as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness
In misery

Oh, take a chance, let your body get a tolerance,
I'm not a chance, but a heat wave in your pants
Pull a breath like another cigarette,
Pawn Shop, I'm trading up (trading up)

I'm the oracle in my chest,
Let the guitar scream like a fascist,
Sweat it out, shut your mouth,
Free love on the streets, but
In the alley and I ain't that cheap, now

PATD_PWNs · Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:16 pm Post subject:

Two days of me feeling like shit. I didn't cry much, I did that enough on the first night. But I felt hollow, empty, lifeless. The one thing that was so important to me, it was gone. I made it disappear before realizing that doing so was the the farthest thing from 'the right thing to do'. What was the point of trying anymore? I f**k up everything I come I contact with.

So for those two days, I went back to that routine I picked up when we were in Australia. You remember that routine, don't you?

On the morning of that third day, I was laying in my bunk with my ipod speakers on full volume. It saved me from repeating the scene I had gone over so many times. This was supposed to keep the headaches away, but really it just did the same. That plus the fact that I was going to be deaf any day now. It all evened out in my head. I deserved it.

Anyway, I was laying there all tangled in sheets and angst when I suddenly realized how hungry I was. I don't think I had eaten at all during those two days and it was starting to get a bit on the painful side. Like my stomach was digesting itself. That can't be good, can it? So I turned my ipod off and stuck my head out of the curtain blocking all human life from my sanctuary. It was dead quiet in the rest of the bus, just as I had expected. The rest of the band is out with everyone else drinking their lives away.

Yeah, I didn't leave my bunk much anymore but I have expertise in ease dropping.

With the confirmation that I wouldn't be bothered by unexpected guests, I climbed painfully out of the cramped bunk and made my way to the kitchen, stretching my stiff limbs along the way.

I tore open a bag of Doritos and was in the process of reheating some cold pizza when I heard the handle of the door click. I almost darted back to my bunk but was reminded by the rumbling of my stomach that I probably couldn't go another hour without nutrition. Not like this junk was healthy or anything. So I decided to just keep focus on the task at hand, get pizza, get out, and completely ignore whoever was about to come through that door.

It couldn't been the lack of food, the possible overuse of painkillers, or the fact that it completely caught me off guard. Maybe a combination of all three. But all I know is that when I saw that purple hooding lingering on the top of steps from the corner of my eye, I almost fainted right there and then.

My head went all fuzzy and I could swear I could hear the faint beat of my nonexistent heart speed up to an uncontrollable high. As much as I knew it would hurt to look over at him, I did. And just as I thought, an apocalyptic wave of hurt pounded down on me. I had to grip the counter to keep myslef standing up.

"Hi, Bill." Gabe waved faintly at me without even a fraction of a smile gracing his perfect lips. First of all, he never called me Bill. Second of all, he didn't look half as utterly destroyed as I did. Two signs that this conversation was only going to lead to more catastrophic pain.

"Saporta." I acknowledged. I tried to sound like everything wasn't falling to pieces inside of me, but it came out as more of a squeak.

"We need to talk about all of this." He said formally, still looking as serious as -insert some metaphor involving something very serious here-. I motioned him to the couch and shakily stepped over to take my own seat on it. As I ignored the beeping of the microwave signaling my pizza was ready which was really the last thing on my mind, I made sure to sit as far away from him as possible. This was not very far seeing that this couch was very small.

Gabe looked up at me, as if waiting for me to start our little chat. He was the one who asked for it, why should I begin? I folded my arms over my chest to show that he was going to do it, but really I just needed a way to stop my hands my shaking violently.

"Ok, well first of all I want to apologize for being a complete b**ch about everything two nights ago. I was just angry and wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me." My ex apologized to me. Ouch. I couldn't help but flinch at that part.

But it was true, I did hurt him. That was what made it hurt me the most.

"I guess I'm sorry too. For not listening. You had every right not to trust Bryce, I should've seen it. But I was just so caught up. I'm sorry." I choked it all out, my 'strong' cover was slipping. My lie was beginning to show.

"Forgiven." He smiled smally at me but it faded quickly. This wasn't the end of the conversation, I could feel it.

"Now what?" I asked. Double meaning; What next to talk about, what next with us.

"Will? I don't think us getting back together would be such a great idea." I bit my lip and let that one inevitable tear trickle down my face. I knew this was coming. but somewhere I was praying that maybe we would try to work things out.

I've been looking at the ground for most of the conversation but at this point, I looked up with a mission. If this was all a lie, and he still loved me then I would be able to tell by looking in his eyes. The stars would still be there, and they would give me that last strand of hope to keep me going.

Gabe's big hazel brown eyes were blank. No light shined through. He had stopped loving me.

"Listen, you know I'll always care for you." Liar. You don't. Fake. "But this relationship has done more harm then good. Just look at me." He motioned to himself like he was supposed to look destroyed.

"You look like you're just dandy, Saporta." I muttered at him viciously.

"Ha!" He snorted. "You should've seen me these couple days. Vodka bottles plastered permanent to my hand. I was a wreck. Victoria finally beat some sense into me." He looked grimly out the window as he remembered.

"Well, you're sure doing fine now. I, on the other hand, am falling apart at the seams." I was ironically picking at the seams on my tee shirt.

"Will, please. You can't be like this." Gabe pleaded as he placed his hand on my knee. I pulled away and stood up.

"Gabe, I was fucking in love with you. Yeah, I know. I screwed things up but thought you'd at least give us a chance. I thought what we had was worth at least that."

He looked completely taken aback as I stood there once again on the verge breaking down. No. Scratch that. I passed the point of 'broken down' a very long time ago.

"No, please don't think that." He stood up too and took a step towards me. Who in return stepped back. "What we had was the best thing that ever happened to me. But...-But we both hurt each other so much. I can't bare to go through that again. I can't bare to see you so broken again." I had to grip the counter again to keep from collapsing. It felt like my chest was caving in. "Right now, we need to start from scratch. From friends and build ourselves back up. Maybe at one point we can try at this again but not now. I just can't." His speech had begun out soft but by the end it was strong with decision.

I knew then that we would never be together like we were.

"I don't know if I can do just friends, Gabe." I whimpered and clutched my aching chest.

He walked over to me and took my hands in his. He was now the thing keeping my upright.

"William, please. For me. Just try this. I need you to." Something in the desperation in voice made me nod feebly. If it was going to make him happy, it was something I could at let attempt.

Gabe dropped my hands and gave me an awkward, one armed hug. "Thanks." He sighed.

I pulled away and leaned balanced against the doorway leading to the bunkroom.

"I guess, I better be going." My tall new 'friend' shrugged. "I'll see you around, William." He waved at me. This time with a a bigger grin on his face. Not a regularly sized Gabe-grin, but one well enough.

"Bye, Gabe." I whispered back.

It was a while before I left the spot I was standing in. I took a few deep breathes and mulled over the situation a million times in my head. Gabe and I were back to square one. Friends. It wasn't lovers, but it was something. I could be happy with that.

I sighed and grabbed the neglected bag of Doritos that sat on the counter top. It was when I opened the microwave door that I realized that my pizza had gone back to ice cold again. Back to square one.
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musicmakesmeloco · Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 1:58 am Post subject:

BRIII NOOOO!!!!!!
this time I'm ACTUALLY crying....
you know how people say "i'm crying" just because it's sad and they think "i should say i'm crying because it makes me seem even sadder" well that's what i did last time
this time i'm actually sitting here with tears streaming down my face
BRIIIII YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEEE!!!!
_________________
Say my name, and his in the same breath, I
Dare you to say they taste the same,
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow in flames

Brace myself and let go,
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends, they don't love you
They just love the hotel suites, now

I don't care what you think
'Cuz as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness
In misery

Oh, take a chance, let your body get a tolerance,
I'm not a chance, but a heat wave in your pants
Pull a breath like another cigarette,
Pawn Shop, I'm trading up (trading up)

I'm the oracle in my chest,
Let the guitar scream like a fascist,
Sweat it out, shut your mouth,
Free love on the streets, but
In the alley and I ain't that cheap, now

PATD_PWNs · Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 6:54 am Post subject:

<3 no worries.
theres going to be a sequeeeeeeel.
maybe. but there is defintely going to be an epilogue that will defintely make you happyhappyhappy.
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stelaclaudi

NO!

NO! NOT OKAY! NO NO NO NO NO! NOOOOOOO

its NOT okay if you two are friends and YOU KNOW IT! WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS GET BACK TOGETHER AND NEXT TIME GABE HAS A PROBLEM, SOLVE IT IMMEDIATELY SO YOU DONT HAVE TO BREAK UP AND BECOME FRIENDS AGAIN. NONONONONONONONONONONO!

*DOES NOT AGREE*
_________________
http://stelaclaudi.livejournal.com/
from day one i talked about getting out
but not forgetting about
how my worst fears are letting out
he said why put a new address
on the same old loneliness
when breathing just passes the time
until we all just get old and die
now talking's just a waste of breath
and living's just a waste of death
and why put a new address
on the same old loneliness
and this is you and me
and me and you
until we've got nothing left