A Fever You Can't Sweat Out

[Crystal22]

A Fever You Can't Sweat Out

Summary: On the outside you see me as a rebellious boy. But, behind my eyes, you see a boy whose body is bruised and broken, a boy who has a crush on his best friend, and a boy with a secret so big it could kill him...Ryden and some Ryan/OC

Chapter 1: It's Time to Run When You See Him

As I sat there in my cushy twin-size bed, salty tears began to slide down my face and across my cheeks. I knew that at any given moment my Dad was going to be home from the local bar where he slams back beer after beer at the end of the week. Every night had been filled with shouting and tears of pain and anger since I could remember and every time he would come home in a more horrible mood than he normally was in after coming home from work.

"Where are you, you pathetic excuse of a son?"

I got up out of my bed so as not to let him hear me, and I turned the corner out of my room to see Dad searching the hallway, wobbling around in a drunken stupor. I slowly turned around and went back around the corner, but he must have seen me because a few seconds later I could hear him chasing after me. I got to my room, slammed the door and locked it. I cowered behind the door when I heard him pounding his fists on it and cursing. Tears fell freely down my face as my whole body trembled and he continued to shout obscenities. He knew I was never that strong enough to fight him back.

"I've been waiting to talk to you," Dad said in a low, menacing voice. I was terrified but I couldn't let him know it. The next thing I knew the door was digging into my back and I was swung into the other wall. I held my nose before stumbling away from him and falling against my closet door.

He started walking towards me, while stumbling over his own legs. Dad didn't say another word. He walked up to me, and slapped my cheek hard. I tried protecting myself by putting my arms up, but it never worked. First, I tried getting one of my beds between me and my drunken father, but he caught my arm, and slammed me against the wall. Then he threw one of my text books, and it hit me just above my forehead. As I curled up on the floor in pain and slipped in and out of consciousness, I felt him start kicking my stomach over and over again.

When I woke up the next morning, I found it hard to move. My body felt so numb, but I finally lifted my hand up to my forehead and felt a sticky substance. When I looked at my hand I found it to be semi-dried blood. I tried to cry out but not a sound would come. I looked around the room and Dad laying, passed out, on my bed.

All I had to do was stay away from that room and all was good. My ribs ached along with my wrist and head, but other than that I was able to go to school without anyone noticing what had happened. I had to put some concealer on my wrist to hide the bruises, and I had to make sure my AC bandages wouldn't fall off.

Wearing my favorite pair of jeans and my favorite shirt, I walked into school with my friend, Spencer Smith. I made sure that my front that covered all of the abuse and scars was up firmly because the last thing I wanted was for me to move and to leave my friends behind.

Anyway, I was at my locker getting all of my things for first period history when a shadow fell over my books. I looked into the mirror that was in the back of my locker and saw another one of my friends, Brendon Urie.

"Hey Ry," Brendon said shooting me his signature semi childish smile.

"What's up?" I asked while trying to get books out of my locker.

"Not much, just looking for something to do on a Friday night," he replied casually. He leaned on the locker to the left of mine.

"I see," I said wondering what the heck he was talking to me for when he was trying to find something to do on a Friday night.

"Got any plans?" Brendon inquired like he was really interested.

`You mean other then getting beaten to a pulp?' "Not that I know of," I told him while slamming my locker shut with my foot.

"I think some of us are going to a movie or something," Brendon said, walking with Spencer and me. "Do you want to go? Spencer's asking Megan and I'm asking Jen."

"Yeah, that'd be great," I answered as calmly as I could.

"Oh, and Crys is coming too. Maybe you can ask her to go with you," Brendon continued as I sighed. He claims that I have a crush on her just because she's my only girl best friend. I've told him many times before that we're just friends but he wouldn't believe me. That's Brendon for you.

Brendon, Spencer, and I went our separate ways to first period, and I found it very hard to concentrate on anything but what could happen on Friday.

In the back of my head all through class I was thinking about what I was going to tell Dad. He would never let me go out with any of my friends. Also, who would be there to take the brunt of his drunken anger if I wasn't there?

--

What do you think? This is my first P!ATD story and I hope you like it. As you can tell the whole thing will be from Ryan's POV. Please leave a comment.

~Mack

[xxiloveryanandbrendonxx]

Aww poor Ryan


Next chapter, eh?

[Amdy]

I really like it

[Masquerade]

Wow, that's quite the abuse. Good story. Nicely done.
_________________

Insomniac depression or Ryan Ross obsession?<3

Things have changed for me. And that's okay. I feel the same. [There's nothing wrong with being Pretty. Odd.]

[Crystal22]

Chapter 2: Boys Will be Boys

I still remember the time right after Dad had first shown his true colors. He had smacked me across my face and my lip immediately started to bleed. I have always felt like nothing was ever going to go my way again.

Coming back to reality I realized that Brendon was looking into my eyes to make sure that I understood him. I nodded anyway, knowing that I had no clue what I was responding to.

"Hey guys," Crystal greeted us as she panted heavily before dropping into the seat beside me and putting her brown bag lunch on the table.

"Took you long enough," Spencer muttered.

"I was held behind in English," she explained.

"You fell asleep again, didn't you?" Jon asked before attacking her lunch as I smiled slightly. She had an annoyed look on her face, I didn't know if it was because she got in trouble again or because Jon was stealing her lunch again.

Crystal got in trouble a lot, her stories of detention always kept us entertained. A portion of the time she was sent to detention just because she was at the scene of a disturbance. Some teachers automatically suspected her just because of the way she dresses and acts which was, for lack of a better word, a punk.

But she was awesome at cooking and she usually brought us things from home that she made the night before, only we never got to eat any since Jon would always steal it from her.

"I see the rest of us are going to starve today," Spencer said as he shot an accusatory glance at Jon who was eating a sandwich with a happy smile on his face.

"Now you should have more faith in me," Crystal said as she reached into her courier bag and pulled out another brown paper bag. "Salad and roasted potatoes for our vegetarian," she said as she pushed it towards Brendon. "BBQ sandwich for Spence." Spencer practically ripped off her arm when he grabbed the sandwich. "Turkey for you," she added as she handed me a sandwich. "And snickerdoodle cookies for desert."

"Too bad, I'm having my desert now," I said as I grabbed a cookie and took a large bite.

"Fine, rot your teeth, see if I care." She paused and looked over at me. My eyes shifted back and forth as she studied my face. I could feel my palms start to sweat as my heart rate increased. She was looking at me as if she could see the bruises on my face.

"What?" I finally asked. "Do I have something in my teeth?"

"No, but there's something ugly sitting on your shoulders," Brendon spoke up. "Oh wait, that's your face!"

"You're very funny, Urinate," I shot back as I smirked and he made a face. Our lunch time usually consisted of Brendon and I making fun of each other. We never meant it and always got a good laugh out of it. School was the only time I actually enjoyed my day.

I hated the rest of my life.

--

At seven all of we in front of the movie theater as planned. Including me, there were Brendon, Jen, Spencer, and Megan. Jon and Crystal had just arrived.

"Ry, I have to go to the bathroom," Brendon suddenly stated.

"So go," I said as I made a face.

"Come with me?"

"What are you, four?"

"Just come on!"

I looked at Jon with a confused face, "Uh, sure." As we walked off I turned again to look at Jon, and he returned my puzzled expression with a slightly amused one.

Once in the bathroom, Brendon stood in front of the mirror and stared at my reflection a bit before asking, "How'd you manage to get that bruise?" I looked at my reflection and instantly kicked myself. My bruise was starting to show.

"Honestly," I sighed, "I don't know." Liar. "I just woke up and it was on my face.

Brendon laughed, "Why am I not surprised? You are clumsy.

"Thanks," I mumbled half jokingly half seriously.

"Ry?”

"Yeah?"

"What's the farthest you've ever gone with a girl?" he asked like she was asking what my birthday was. I looked at him with a very shocked face.

'Gone? Gone where?' I thought. Then reality hit me. I really do surprise myself with some of the things I do. Stupid me.

"I- uh um," I stammered.

"I'm just curious," Brendon said while turning to face me. "You don't have to get all embarrassed."

"Hm," was all I could get out.

Once in the theater there was a disagreement about where to sit. The theater was pretty full but the very front was open along with the back. Everywhere in between was full. Finally they decided that they would have a smaller chance of getting kicked out if we sat in the back. Two nineteen-year-olds were making out the minute that the lights went out.

"Jeez," I heard Crystal under her breath.

"I know," Jon said looking at them.

"How do they breathe?"

"Want to find out?"

She shoved his shoulder, "All boys are the same."

"I take offense to that," I said.

"Yeah," Brendon agreed, "I would never ask a girl to make out like Jon just did."

"If you want a girl to make out with you, you don't ask like that," Spencer said.

"How do you do it?" I asked with a wide smile.

"Well," Brendon interrupted, “first you make sure they want to.".

"No you don't!" Spencer said. "You just kiss her and if she kisses you back, you've got it made. If she doesn't you run like hell."

I laughed. I couldn't believe guys actually talked about this stuff with each other.

"And don't any girls get a say in it?" I questioned

"You know what would be smart?" Jen asked.

"What?"

"Maybe you should ask the GIRL how she would want to kiss someone, because wouldn't she know about that stuff more then any of us?" she suggested

Jon asked Crystal, "How do girls want to be kissed?"

"You're asking the wrong girl," she said, leaning back in my seat.

"Are you a lesbian?" Brendon asked in a really loud voice, and it just happened to be in between previews. Everyone turned and shushed us again. We grabbed handfuls of popcorn and threw it at him as I laughed at his misfortune.

"No, I am not a lesbian."

"Then what do you mean?" SPencer asked.

"Never been kissed," I shrugged.

"Really?" Megan and Jen looked at her as if she were lying. I didn't hate them but I didn't really like them either. They had a big reputation and they always stuck their noses in someone else's business. I knew the only reason that Brendon and Spencer brought them was to hope to get their reputations boosted.

"Dead serious," Crystal responded. I knew it was a bad idea for her to trust them with that, but I kept my mouth shut. She hated it when I meddled in her life. “But, can we please change the subject? Talking about kissing makes me wanna dry heave!” she grumbled. After the movie let out, Brendon and Jen were very close to each other.

"Let's get food," Brendon said.

"Yeah," Jen agreed, "I'm hungry."

We ended up at a Wendy's because it was closest to the theater. We all shared a booth. Everyone got something different so we could share with each other. I never realized how close Crystal was to me until I felt her knee brush my leg.

"Dude, if you're going to kiss her, do it already," Jon told me.

"Come on," Spencer said, "you've got the balls to do it, so use `em."

"I would," I calmly began, "but she has food in her mouth."

"Oh you know you love it!" She said as she stuck out her tongue, showing mashed up food. The guys and I laughed as Jen and Megan squealed in disgust. Crystal and I always made jokes like that but they were never serious, we only did it to get Brendon off of our backs. We both knew that we were only friends.

That night we, Spencer, Jon, and I, ended up spending the night at Brendon's house. His parents weren't home when we got there. We watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

For what reasons? I have no idea.

I was scared to death of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This was the only scary movie that I couldn't stand for some weird reason. I avoided looking at the TV screen when there was a scary part on.

The next morning, I woke up on the carpeted floor and noticed that Brendon, Spencer, Jon, and I and I had heavy comforters on us, and we were wearing the same clothes from the night before.

I looked at my watch and saw that it was almost 11.

I was sooooo busted!

[Masquerade]

Aw, man, he's in trouble now...
Bren's kinda oblivious to the bruises, isn't he?
_________________

Insomniac depression or Ryan Ross obsession?<3

Things have changed for me. And that's okay. I feel the same. [There's nothing wrong with being Pretty. Odd.]

[Crystal22]

Chapter 3: Lying Is the Most Fun Ryan Ross Can Have Without Taking His Clothes Off

“OW!” Brendon shouted once I jumped to my feet. He was slumped off of the couch and I accidentally stepped on his hair. The weight made him jerk his head up, which was a bad idea seeing as my weight was put on his head. “Oh my god, I think I’m bleeding!” He cried out once I moved my foot off of his head.

“Sorry Bren,” I quickly apologized as I looked around for my shoes. I found them underneath a bowl and pulled them onto my feet. “I gotta go!”

“Whasgoinon?” Jon asked sleepily as both he and Spencer woke up.

“Nothing, I just have to go home,” I said in a rush.

“You’ll come back later for practice, right?” Brendon asked.

“Yeah sure, I’ll be here,” I said before I flew out the front door. I jumped down the porch and took off down the street. In a matter of seconds my heart was pounding against my chest and I was gasping for air but I knew that I couldn’t slow down. I ran so fast I tripped over my feet and stumbled but I caught my balance and kept running down the street.

Once I got onto my porch I placed my hands on my knees and gasped for air. Once my I got my heartbeat back under control I braced myself and entered my house. The entire house was quiet, which I knew wasn’t good.

I went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to find something to drink. I felt the door close and I quickly jumped out of the way, barely pulling my arm away. I looked up with wide eyes, knowing that my Dad was there.

I glared as Dad advanced towards me while he cracked his knuckles, I didn’t have to look in a mirror to know that my honey brown eyes were narrowing. I stood my ground as he brought back his fist and hit me in the stomach. I gasped for air as he thumped me against the head and tears sprang to my eyes.

‘You won’t cry Ryan. You will stay strong! You will stay strong!’ I thought as I clenched my teeth against the pain as Dad dropped more hits on my small frame. I tried to get away from him but he pressed his weight against me and hit me harder than before.

Pain suddenly shot up my side as he hit the spot where I had my appendix problem not long ago. Everything started to swim before my eyes as he gave me one last hit for good measure and said, “I’m going out with a friend. Don’t do anything stupid!”

I wouldn’t dream of it.

I slowly lifted myself to my feet and wiped the blood off of my face. I went over to the sink and cleaned myself up as best as I could. A bruise was going to form on my eye again. I couldn’t let Bren see it.

I went to my mom’s old room and got makeup that she left behind from her dressers. I looked over at it before finding the concealer. Too bad there wasn’t any makeup that could hide the pain in my heart.

I left her room and went into mine. I opened my drawers and pulled out clothes that I would change into after my shower. Once I got into the bathroom I left it on the sink and turned on the water before stripping and stepping into the shower. I hissed in pain when the water connected with a scratched that had formed on my side. I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes before letting out a slow breath and then I started washing myself, making sure not to get soap near my scratches. I quickly washed my hair before stepping out and wrapping a towel around my waist. Once my face was dry I carefully put eyeliner around my eyes. Then I changed into my clean clothes, grabbed my lyrics notebook and my house keys, and left. I knew better than to take my car back to Brendon’s house. If Dad came back to find that it was gone then I would be in worse trouble.

Heh, imagine that, a senior who’s afraid to drive.

I took my time walking back to Brendon’s house. I’m really glad that all of my friends live near me or else I wouldn’t know how to get to their houses. I looked both ways before quickly crossing the street. The sound of wheels on the sidewalk grabbed my attention.

“Hey Ryro, where ya headed?” Crystal asked as she slowed down her pace so she was rollerblading next to me.

“I’m going over to Bren’s house so we can work on lyrics and stuff,” I responded.

“Mind if I tag along?”

“Not at all,” I responded with a smile. I really enjoyed her company, I could tell Crystal anything. Some things that I tell her I don’t tell the guys because I know that she won’t laugh at me like the guys would. “How’s life treating you?”

“Like God hates me,” she responded. “I got into a fight with my parents, that’s why I’m here. I can’t go back now, not for a while so I figured I’d pass the time at Bden’s place, seeing as he lives closer to me than the rest of you do.”

“Smart plan,” I muttered to myself, wondering why I hadn’t thought of going over to Brendon’s place whenever I couldn’t take things at my house. ‘You wouldn’t want him to find out. You don’t want any of them to find out,’ I reminded myself.

“Are you ok? You’re quieter than usual,” she spoke up, breaking my train of thought.

“I don’t have much to say,” I mumbled with a shrug. I knew that excuse wouldn’t fly with her but it was better than lying straight to her face. The rest of the walk was filled with awkward silence but it was better that I kept my mouth shut. We made it to Brendon’s house and I waited patiently for Crystal to take off her rollerblades and switch them with her shoes before ringing Brendon’s doorbell.

“It’s about time you came back,” Brendon said once he wrenched open the door. “Oh, hey Jewel,’ he added once he looked over at Crystal. We all called her Jewel because of her name. She claimed it annoyed her but we knew that it really didn’t. “What brings you here?”

“Feet,” she responded before pushing past him and stepping into the house.

“Don’t be such a smart ass!” Brendon called after her as I stepped into the house. “Man, you gotta lay off that eyeliner. You put on so much it looks like you have black eyes.” He laughed at his joke and I forced myself to join in, although he didn’t know how right he really was.

“What did you guys do while I was gone?” I asked as I followed Brendon into the kitchen.

“Watch Spongebob,” he responded with a shrug. “And we also made cookies for you.” I raised an eyebrow at this. “You seemed in a slump lately,” he explained. “You’re not the Ryro that we’re used to so we decided to make your favorite cookies to cheer you up.” He picked one off the tray and held it out to me. “I promise there’s no glitter in it this time.”

“You better make sure you don’t put more in again,” I said before I took a bite. “I don’t want a glowing mouth again.”

“I should have strapped you to the front of my car. I could’ve easily used you as a headlight,” he said with a laugh. I smiled as I continued chewing the cookie before swallowing. I took another bite when he suddenly said, “I miss you.”

“What’re you talking about?” I asked as I crinkled my nose in confusion. “You’re around me, like, 24/7. It’s no surprise that people think we’re gay.”

“I miss this,,” he responded. “Us talking and just hanging out. We don’t do that much anymore since you don’t come over as much as you did before.”

“My Dad’s strict, you know that,” I pointed out.

“I know, but you’re not your usual self, George Ryan Ross III.” He smiled a little as I made a face. He knew how much I hated being called by my full name. “You’re quieter than usual and you’re not as…open as you used to be.”

“Umm…” was all I got out as I wracked my brain for an excuse. No, I needed a lie this time. “My Dad’s been going through a hard time with work. I’ve been helping him with finances and things. I’ve been kind of stressed lately.”

“”If you need to get away for a while you can always come here,” Brendon told me. “Anytime, the door is always open.” He paused before adding, “And I kinda miss this. Us talking. I miss being with you. I miss our Ryden time.”

“I promise to put aside some time for ‘Ryden time’,” I said as I made finger quotes before stuffing the last of the cookie in my mouth. “And I missed our talking too. Just don’t tell Spencer that, you know how possessive he gets because we live next door to each other.”

“I won’t,” he said with a laugh. “We’ll practice in the basement today; Dad’s working in the garage.”

“Ok.” I grabbed another cookie before following him down the stairs and into the basement where Jon and Spencer were playing Mario Kart Double Dash on Brendon’s Gamecube. I dropped down on the couch and opened up my notebook. I closed my eyes and let out a breath, only snapping them open when I suddenly got inspiration. Over Spencer’s, Jon’s, and Crystal’s shouts at the screen I quickly wrote down lyrics that popped into my head before I forgot it.

Watch your mouth
Because your speech is slurred enough
That you just might swallow your tongue
I'm sure you'd want, want to give up the ghost
With just a little more poise than that

“That’s very…powerful.” I suddenly felt the weight of Brendon’s head as he rested his chin on my shoulder and read the lyrics. “Who’s the song about?”

“No one in particular,” I responded. Lying got so easy for me over the years.

“Personal experience?”

“Nope. It’s all fiction.” I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop lying.

I could feel Crystal’s gaze on my forehead and her stare was making me uncomfortable. Now I regretted telling her anything.

She knew too much.

[musicmakesmeloco]

oooooh melikey

must have mores?
_________________
Say my name, and his in the same breath, I
Dare you to say they taste the same,
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow in flames

Brace myself and let go,
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends, they don't love you
They just love the hotel suites, now

I don't care what you think
'Cuz as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness
In misery

Oh, take a chance, let your body get a tolerance,
I'm not a chance, but a heat wave in your pants
Pull a breath like another cigarette,
Pawn Shop, I'm trading up (trading up)

I'm the oracle in my chest,
Let the guitar scream like a fascist,
Sweat it out, shut your mouth,
Free love on the streets, but
In the alley and I ain't that cheap, now

[Masquerade]

Nice addition of the song in there. I like it.
_________________

Insomniac depression or Ryan Ross obsession?<3

Things have changed for me. And that's okay. I feel the same. [There's nothing wrong with being Pretty. Odd.]

[xxiloveryanandbrendonxx]

[Crystal22]

Chapter 4: Sleep On It

“Ry!” I jerked awake at the sound of Brendon yelling my name. I looked over and practically yellwed when I saw how close Brendon was to me. He scared me so bad that I ended up flipping over the back of the couch so I ended up face down on the carpet as the rest of my body stuck straight up in the air. “You fell asleep,” Brendon said from somewhere above me.

“No really?” I muttered into the carpet before flipping over so I was staring at his upside-down face.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he commented as I sat up and turned so I was resting my arms over the back of the couch. “But I had to wake you.”

“What for?” I grumbled.

“Your Dad called wondering where you were,” Brendon explained as my eyes widened. ‘My dad! How could I forget that easily?’ “So my Mom talked to him and convinced him to let you sleepover tonight too.”

“No, I really can’t,” I said as I shook my head.

“Yes you can,” Brendon said as he nodded. “It’s all ready agreed so you can’t back out of it.” He got off the couch and I followed him with my eyes as he cursed and complained about Jon and Spencer leaving a mess of popcorn on the floor. “You could help me you know,” he commented as he turned back to look at me.

“It’s your house, you clean it,” I pointed out with a tiny smirk. My smirk instantly faded when he gave me The Look. It’s his patented look that could get any of us to do anything for him. He’d get this pathetic look in his eyes as he pouted. It is impossible to say no to him.

Unfortunately for us but fortunate for him, he knew that.

“Fine!” I sighed as I got to my feet and went across the room to join him in picking up the trash. The silence started to bother me but I’d rather there be silence then an awkward forced conversation. Brendon kicked the trashcan over to me and we dropped the trash into it before picking up soda cans and bringing them into the kitchen where Mrs. Urie was humming as she washed some dishes. “Thanks for letting me stay over, Mrs. Urie.”

“It’s no problem at all, Ryan,” she said with a bright smile before lightly touching my chin. Brendon rolled his eyes before putting the soda cans that were in his arms in the bin.

“Mom, we were thinking of going to the Circus Circus Adventure Dome tomorrow,” Brendon spoke up as he grabbed an apple and took a bite out of it.

“When was this decided?” I asked in confusion.

“While you were off in DreamLand,” Brendon replied.

“Did you get your homework done?” Mrs. Urie asked as she turned to look at her son.

“Nearly,” he responded. And in Brendon code ‘nearly’ meant almost started. He gave me a hard look and I kept my mouth shut. I had a bad habit of getting my friends in trouble but it was worse when I got them in trouble with their parents. I knew that by experience so I knew to stay quiet whenever I was around parents. That and I always seemed like the ‘angelic’ friend so my friends would get mad about being compared to me.

“When do you have to work?”

“Late afternoon to the evening. When’s dinner?”

“I’ll start if after I finish the dishes,” she responded as she turned back to the dishes. “Can you entertain yourself until then?” Brendon opened his mouth. “Without breaking anything in the process?” Brendon closed it again.

“We’ll just be in my room then.”

Brendon lightly slapped me in the chest with the back of his hand to signal me to follow him. I did so obediently. Once we were in his room I picked up his acoustic guitar and started playing All the Small Things by Blink-182 as I sat down on his bed. Brendon just watched me from the chair as I played. It was kind of creepy yet relaxing at the same time, I couldn’t explain why.

“So,” Brendon spoke up. I shifted my eyes so I was looking at him without turning my head. “I’ve talked to Jon and Spencer about this. Well, about you. They don’t think you’re yourself either and we’ve come to one conclusion.” He paused before declaring, “You have a crush.”

“What?” I asked calmly as I raised an eyebrow.

“It all makes sense,” he said as got up before sitting down in front of me. “You’re quieter than normal. You’re more clumsy. And you’re jumpy. That has to be the only reason.”

I scoffed as I rolled my eyes before playing What’s My Age Again.

“Who’s the girl?” Brendon asked as he smacked me on the knee. “Come on, I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

“I don’t like anyone,” I told him.

“Yes you do. The signs are all there. Who is it?” He stared at me before his eyes widened. “It’s Crys, isn’t it?”

“What!?” I cried out as I stopped playing all together.

“It has to be. I mean, she’s the only girl that’s around us all of the time and she hangs around you a lot.”

“Because she’s my best friend, er, aside from you guys that is.”

“But, that has to be the only explanation. Unless there’s something else going on that you’re not telling us, in which case I’m hurt. You know you can trust us with anything.”

“I do know that, but I’m not keeping anything from you,” I told him with a patient tone but he was really starting to get on my nerves.

Mrs. Urie called us down to dinner a few minutes later. I put down Brendon’s guitar and went to the bathroom to wash my hands before joining the Uries in the kitchen. I loaded my plate with food before sitting down at the table and saying a prayer before I ate.

“Geeze, Ross, you act like you haven’t eaten before,” Brendon commented as he nudged me lightly in the side.

“Sorry,” I apologized as I blushed, noticing that he, Mr. and Mrs. Urie were giving me odd looks. “I didn’t eat that much today. And the food is delicious.”

Brendon squinted at me before he went back to eating. Suddenly I didn’t feel hungry anymore, but I kept eating anyway. Once my plate was clear I put it in the sink before going back to Brendon’s room.

We stayed up well into the night talking about random things, watching TV, playing guitar, and playing video games. The sugar from our desert finally wore off and I crashed on the floor, trying to keep my eyes open. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and to change. I tossed my clothes into a pile in the corner as Brendon buttoned the top button of his pajama shirt.

“Hey, pass me a pillow,” I told Brendon.

Brendon opened his closet door and reached up to the top shelf. He pulled down a pillow beore tossing it to me. It bounced off of my head before it landed in my lap. I rubbed my head, even though it didn’t hurt, as Brendon laughed.

“You asked me to pass you a pillow,” Brendon told me.

“Yeah, I said ‘pass’ not ‘toss’,” I said with a small eyeroll.

“I dibs the bed,” I said before jumping onto it.

“Hey! That’s my bed!” Brendon protested as he poked me in the cheek.

“I’m your guest,” I pointed out.

“Well, move over because I’m not sleeping on the floor,” Brendon said before easily picking me up and dropping me on the other side of the bed. He pulled back the covers and climbed in as I stared at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” I said with a yawn before sliding underneath the covers myself.

“Nightie-night then,” he chirped before reaching over to turn off the light. He settled his head down on the pillow and closed his eyes before letting out a peaceful breath. I rolled onto my side so my back was facing him. The moonlight was off of my face, which was good, because I didn’t want my red face to be illuminated.

[musicmakesmeloco]

ooooooh goodies
MORE
pleaseums?
_________________
Say my name, and his in the same breath, I
Dare you to say they taste the same,
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow in flames

Brace myself and let go,
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends, they don't love you
They just love the hotel suites, now

I don't care what you think
'Cuz as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness
In misery

Oh, take a chance, let your body get a tolerance,
I'm not a chance, but a heat wave in your pants
Pull a breath like another cigarette,
Pawn Shop, I'm trading up (trading up)

I'm the oracle in my chest,
Let the guitar scream like a fascist,
Sweat it out, shut your mouth,
Free love on the streets, but
In the alley and I ain't that cheap, now

[Crystal22]

Chapter 5: Ticklish

Dad and I ate our dinner in silence that night. I kept my head bowed so I didn't have to look at him. I kept glancing at him through my bangs, only to quickly look back down again. I sighed heavily as the silence stretched on. No crickets would chirp; it was too silent. It started to get on Dad's nerves and I could tell. Dad finally couldn't take it anymore.

“WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?” He roared, causing me to shriek a little and drop his fork.

“W-w-w-what are you talking about?” I whispered in a voice full of fear.

“WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME WHERE YOU WERE?”

“I…I meant to. But I fell asleep. And Brendon's Mom called you and-“

“SHUT UP! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WHEN I'M NOT THERE!”

I stared at him with fear-filled blue eyes. When I didn't answer, Dad reached across the table and grabbed a hunk of my hair, pulling upwards. Instant tears came to my eyes as I tried to get Dad to let go. I whimpered when I saw the fury in his Dad's eyes. I was suddenly slapped across the cheek and thrown backwards. My chair tilted backwards and I hit my head hard against the linoleum…

“Ryro…oh, Ryro, wake up.”

I groaned as I felt my arm being attacked my something. I forced open my eyes, only to be hit by a pillow. I grunted before pulling it off of my face and sitting up, Brendon's giggled reached my ears as he smiled at me triumphantly.

“God, do you know how loud you snore?” Brendon asked as he looked at me. “You sound like a dump truck, seriously.”

“At least I don't giggle like a girl,” I shot back as I hit him with my pillow, causing him to fall backwards off of the bed with a loud thump. I burst out laughing as he sat up, gripping the pillow tightly with one hand.

“Oh, you're going to pay for that!” Brendon declared before jumping back onto the bed. I laughed as I tried to get away from him, but he was too fast for me. He pinned me down by pressing his knees into my arms before he started hitting me with the pillow repeated. “Take it back!” He called over my laughter. “Take it back, Ryro!”

“Neh…never!” I gasped between my laughter.

“Ok, fine.” He dropped the pillow and the next thing I knew his fingers were digging into my ribs, causing me to laugh harder, which made my abs hurt.

“S…st…stop!” I gasped as I tried to push him off of me as I continued laughing. “Stop…it hurts!”

“Take it back and I'll stop tickling you,” Brendon responded as I tried to kick him off of me. I was starting to cough from the lack of air and from laughing so hard.

“Ok…I'm sorry…I t…I take it back!” I gasped. I took in a big breath of air when Brendon finally got off of me. “Geeze, Bren. I think you've eaten too many cookies,” I said as I looked up at him as I took in deep breaths.

“It's not my fault that I wasn't blessed with a metabolism like you,” Brendon said in an offended tone. “I'd kill to have a great body like yours.”

I felt my face warm up as Brendon turned towards the door when he heard a knock on it. “Bren, Ryan, breakfast is ready,” Mrs. Urie said as she stuck her head in through the door.

“Ok mom,” Brendon chirped before bouncing off of the bed. I took my time stretching before getting off of the bed and fixing the covers. “What are you doing?” He asked as he unbuttoned his pajama shirt.

“Making your bed,” I responded.

“You're weird,” he commented before picking a shirt off of the ground and putting it on.

“This is coming from the guy who walks around in the nude, BrennyBear” I said as I threw his pillow at him which he easily caught.

“Night Owl.”

“Ok, how in the world is that an insult?” I asked as I gave him an odd look.

“Do you know how weird it is waking up in the middle of the night and seeing you staring back?” Brendon asked. “Do you ever sleep?”

`Not recently,' I told myself. “I can't when the last thing I see before I sleep is your face.”

--

A/N: Sorry it took me a while to update and sorry it's so short.


~Mack

[musicmakesmeloco]

“I can't when the last thing I see before I sleep is your face.”
lolz i wouldn't be able to sleep at that either
i wouldn't want to waste the time that i could spend looking at his face, sleeping :S
_________________
Say my name, and his in the same breath, I
Dare you to say they taste the same,
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow in flames

Brace myself and let go,
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends, they don't love you
They just love the hotel suites, now

I don't care what you think
'Cuz as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness
In misery

Oh, take a chance, let your body get a tolerance,
I'm not a chance, but a heat wave in your pants
Pull a breath like another cigarette,
Pawn Shop, I'm trading up (trading up)

I'm the oracle in my chest,
Let the guitar scream like a fascist,
Sweat it out, shut your mouth,
Free love on the streets, but
In the alley and I ain't that cheap, now

[Crystal22]

Chapter 6: Home

Brendon hit my shoulder lightly, for good measure I guess, before he walked towards the bedroom door. I took my time in looking through Brendon’s drawers to find clothes to borrow. The funny thing is he and I are the same size so we borrow each other’s clothes if the situation comes up, like this one. Although I would prefer my own since I have a distinct style but Brendon’s clothes would have to do for the time being.

“You are coming with us to the Dome right?” Brendon asked once I came out of the bredroom.

“I don’t know,” I responded as I let out a breath. “I have to ask my Dad first. Speaking of which, I can’t stay long.”

“Call me later if you can come,” he said as we entered the kitchen. I made a face when I saw what was for breakfast. It was the normal Urie weekend breakfast which consisted of toast, eggs, bagels, hash browns, bacon, sausage, and orange juice. Just seeing the eggs made me sick and it reminded me of the time I had accidentally insulted Dad’s cooking and he made me eat everything until I threw up.

“I will,” I promised before sitting down. I waited for Mrs. Urie to sit before we started into breakfast. I stayed silent as Brendon talked to his Mom and Dad about his plans for the day. I couldn’t stop the feeling of envy that was starting to rise and bubble up inside me.

Ever since I met Brendon I’ve envied him and his family. He was crazy and did anything for a laugh. I was too shy so trying to be funny was out of the question. And he had an awesome family that really loved him. I’m stuck with a bastard of a father with no mother to love me and to shower me with affection.

Brendon told me once that he envied me since I didn’t have to deal with an overprotective mother. But I would trade my life for his in a heartbeat. No, that’s not true. I wouldn’t want Brendon to suffer like I do. I’m not going to get away from so I might as well suck it up. I’m going to leave in a little less than a year anyway.

“If you’ll excuse me, I have to leave now,” I said politely when there was a break in the conversation and I stood.

“I could drive you back if you want,” Brendon offered. His mouth was so full of food I was surprised that I could understand him.

“Chew and swallow, dear,” Mrs. Urie told him automatically. Brendon overexaggerated on his chewing and I laughed a little. He let out a loud gulp and smiled proudly.

“Like I said, I can drive you if you want,” he repeated.

“That’s all right, I’ll walk, I need the exercise,” I told him.

“You’re as thin as a stick. You don’t need the exercise,” Brendon said with a shake of his head before holding out his hand. I slapped it before waving to his parents and turning to leave the house.

“I’m only this thin because I barley get fed,” I mumbled to myself once I left the house. I rubbed my stomach as I smiled a little. Being around the Uries always made me feel whole, made me feel like I was wanted. Not that I didn’t feel like that with Jon, Spence, or Crys, but with the Uries I felt it ten times more than I felt it with the rest of my friends.

I looked up and saw that I had arrived at my house. I took a deep breath before slowly opening the door and walking inside. The smell of alcohol instantly reached my nose and I almost gagged at how strong it was. I covered my nose with my hand and walked into the house quietly. Dad had to have been passed out. That or he came here, got drunk, and left. That had to be it, his shoes weren’t by the door.

The phone suddenly rang, causing me to jump and let out an involuntary scream. I let out a sigh to calm myself before I reached out and grabbed it. “Hello?” I answered.

“I was wondering when you’d make it back from Bden’s,” Crystal’s voice came from the speaker. “I called you last night and you didn’t answer.”

“I spent the night at Brendon’s since it was too late for me to come home,” I responded as I climbed the stairs to my room, taking the extra precaution to watch where I stepped incase an empty beer bottle was lying around.

“Are you up to anything today?”

“Seeing as my Dad isn’t home, no. I can’t go out,” I responded.

“He won’t know if you leave.”

“Yes he will, he knows everything,” I responded with a sigh before pushing open the door to my bedroom and flopping down on my bed.

“Well, I want to spend time with my friend Ryro today, so is there any chance that I can come over there? I promise to leave before your Dad comes home.”

“Sure, why not?” I responded. “besides, I have a new song I want you to check out.”

“Ok, but I have to stop by JWalk’s place first.”

“He needs to copy homework again?” I asked with a grin,

“When doesn’t he? I’ll be there in ten.”

“Ok.” I hung up the phone and placed it on my bedside table before reaching over and pulling out the drawer so I could grab my notebook that was filled with lyrics and thoughts. I flipped the pages until I came across the song I had written.

This is the scent of dead skin
On the linoleum floor
This is the scent of quarantine
Wings in the hospital

It’s not so pleasant and it’s
Not so conventional
It sure as hell aint normal
But we deal, we deal

The anesthetic never set in and
I'm wondering where the apathy
and urgency is that I thought I phoned in ...

It’s not so pleasant and it’s
Not so conventional
It sure as hell aint normal
But we deal, we deal
The song was about a dream I had had a few nights ago. Dad was in the hospital and everything seemed really vivid. I could remember the smells and the sounds really easily. It terrified me yet it excited me seeing my Dad on the gurney, wires and tube sticking out everywhere. It made me think that I was about to be rid of him, and then I realized he was all I had left so I felt guilty about it so I wrote about it. It helped me escape the torment of my thoughts.

I jumped off of my bed when I heard the doorbell rang. I practically killed myself rushing down the stairs because I stepped on a beer bottle and slid down some of the stairs to crash into the wall. I quickly checked myself for visible injury but there was none and I sighed with relief. “Hey,” I greeted Crystal with a hug.

“Hey Ryro,” she responded with a smile before stepping into the house. “How was your sleepover at the Uries?”

“It was all right,” I said with a shrug. “I didn’t really sleep much. Brendon sings in his sleep and I spent half the night trying to decide if I wanted to smother him with his pillow or strangle him. But we need his voice for our band so I let him off the hook.”

“You’d be making a mistake if you killed Brendon, you wouldn’t be signed without him,” she told me as she followed me into the kitchen.

“You still believe that we’re going to be signed?” I asked as I grabbed a cookie out of the cookie jar and took a bite. Snickerdoodles, my favorite.

“Of course,” she responded instantly. “Is that the song?” She asked as she pointed to the notebook that was in my hand. I nodded and handed it over as I took another bite and chewed, waiting for her reaction.

“This is…kind of…disturbing,” she said after failed attempts to string words into a sentence.

“It was about a dream I had, I guess that’s why,” I said with a shrug. That wasn’t really the reaction I wanted. I hated keeping this from everyone, but I couldn’t tell them. I could be shipped to a foster place and never see them again. And then what? I should give them better hints or something. Even though I bet she all ready knows.

“Are you going to write more?” She asked as she held it back.

“No,” I responded with a shake of my head. “I’m really not in the mood. Do you just want to watch TV or something?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I flinched when I saw that a couple of beer bottles were on the floor so I mumbled an excuse,”Dad isn’t a person who likes to clean.” She nodded and dropped down on the couch, making herself at home. I sat down next to her and grabbed the remote. I flipped through a lot of channels and, since I found nothing on, I left it on Spongebob. The show was all right and it made me laugh from time to time.

I guess I was really tired because I felt asleep. I don’t know how long I was out but the next time I opened my eyes it was dark. I looked down and smiled a little when I saw Crystal’s head resting against my side and she was sleeping peacefully. Well, as peaceful as you can get before a door slams open, catapulting you off of the couch.

“Uh. . .h-hey, dad” I muttered as I threw the comforter off of me and jumped to my feet.

“Don’t ‘hey, dad’ me!” Dad muttered. I winced at his tone. I exchanged a look with Crystal who had an apathetic look on her face. “I come home and find that you’ve slept with one of your friends?!”

“With all do respect sir, we didn’t have s*x,” Crystal said quietly, running her hands through her hair in nervousness.

“Be quiet. I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to my son,” Dad growled, glaring at her.

“You better go,” I said quietly. She nodded and gave me a look before leaving the house. The sound of the door closing was the only thing that filled the otherwise silent air.

“What have I told you about having people over when I’m not around?” my dad asked in a slow and calm voice as he walked over to me. I didn’t say anything as I held his gaze. My heart was thudding in my chest. I bit my lip to keep from crying out, especially when Dad grabbed my hair in a strong grip and yanked me up to my feet, tears were slipping down my cheeks. “What have I told you about having people over when I’m not around? Are you deaf? Can you not understand me?”

“Yes!” I cried out as he tugged at my hair.

“Good.” He shoved me back and I hit the floor hard.

Painfully, I got to my feet. I slowly went up the stairs to my room and closed the door behind me. I changed clothes as fast as I could, making sure I wore a long sleeved shirt. I pulled a t-shirt on over top of it. I grabbed my phone and pressed 2 on my speed dial.

“Ryro,” Brendon exclaimed as soon as he answered. “What happened? You were supposed to call me.”

“Sorry, I lost track of time,” I mumbled as I rubbed my aching head.

“You had me worried,” he continued.

“I’m sorry. Dad wants to spend time with me,” I told him. “I have to go.”

“Ok, I’ll call you later, buddy.”

“Bye.” I hung up the phone and smiled a little, knowing that Brendon was worried about me.

He’s an awesome friend.